Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Back to the beginning

It is often said that when one has no other place to go, that he should return to the beginning and start anew. I am now heeding the old advice, as I have always done. My party and I are journeying back to where I met the grandmother so many months ago. Perhaps there is more evidence to be uncovered. I spoke to Honani concerning this, expecting him to say something about the folly of following stories. He said nothing still, but gathered what remained of our small camp. We've been walking now mostly non-stop...I'm not sure when and where to hold, and Honani never shows sign or weariness. Onward, we go. We are getting very close to the village, now. Again, something feels wrong. But then, wrongness is a familiar feeling these days. It doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did in the beginning.

What bothers me most is Running Bear's seeming lack of a life force, his spirit. His body lives, but nothing else. I haven't yet had the time or the freedom to enter the spirit world again and search for him there. I fear what I will find there. So far, all I have found there has led to despair. This entity also seems to be taking more of an active role. I see it at times, standing under a ruin or perhaps a solitary tree. It seems to choose things that are spiritually significant..Trees are life, the ruins are portals to the old world. And the time of day is often just at the break of day or the falling of night..When the world is more open to entry from the spirit realms. I fear it will only get stronger and stronger..as it seems to feed off of emotion and energy. Maybe it can be combated in that manner..It looks like time to begin another journal.